Every year of my 6 decades of life I have spent at least three months living in winter, real winter- ice, snow, cold winds, etc.- and yet in this past 24 hours I have thrice been told, “it is cold outside. You should wear a hat and gloves.”

Do they think I have not mastered the complex relationship between low temperatures and low numbers on the thermometer? Do they think I haven’t figured out snow and ice means it cold outside? Or perhaps they think I can no longer monitor my own comfort?

Here’s the deal, if you are cold put a hat on and wear some gloves, it won’t help if I do. If you are wet, grab a towel, it won’t help if I do. If you are out of shape go for a walk, it won’t help if I do. If you are hot, find some ice but put on a hat and some gloves first. It could be cold.